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Thursday’s Headlines recap: ‘Louis Slungpue’ weighs in on UCLA flooding; Keyshawn Johnson’s pricy wedding invitations

07.31.14 at 10:55 am ET
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Here the highlights from Thursday’s Headlines with John Dennis, Gerry Callahan and guest host Jon Meterparel. To listen to the interview, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

‘Louis Slungpue’ calls into news station

A major pipe burst underneath UCLA Tuesday, flooding parts of the campus with over eight million gallons of water. The 93-year-old pipe exploded near Sunset Boulevard, opening up a 15-foot hole in the street and damaging six UCLA facilities.

“It’s all flooded, the campus is flooded, the Pauley Pavilion is flooded, and every time I look up, I expect to see sharks swimming in the flood, because I’m in ‘Sharknado’ mode,” Callahan said.

During coverage of the flooding, a man going by the name “Louis Slungpue,” claiming to be a Department of Public Works spokesperson, called in to ABC7 in Los Angeles to give his take on the matter.

“She actually says at the end, ‘Let’s see if we can get him back ‘ ” Dennis said.

“I wanted to know what the follow-up to that is. … ‘What did the dump look like?’ ” Meterparel asked.

Keyshawn Johnson sends out wedding invitations on iPads

Former Pro Bowl wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson opted for the pricy route in order to inform guests of his upcoming wedding. Johnson sent customized iPads to each guest, programmed with all the details for the event.

“How many people did he invite, did it say?” Callahan said. “What if it’s like a small wedding with 20 people, what’s the big deal?”

“That’s so nauseating,” Meterparel said.

“If you don’t go, do you have to give it back?” Dennis asked.

First-grader loses desk, forced to sit on floor as punishment

A first-grade student in Houston was given an extremely harsh punishment for drawing a picture on her desk. For her actions, the young girl was told that she wouldn’t get her desk back until the second grade and was forced to sit on the floor for four weeks.

Said Dennis: “That’s a mean-ass teacher. … That’s not right.”

Man returns 1920s sex manual to library

The New York Public Library got quite the return Wednesday, receiving a 1920s sex booklet that was overdue for 55 years.

The book, “Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and Technique,” was rented in 1959 by a man who apparently did not find many satisfactory results.

“Funny thing is the book didn’t support his efforts with his first (and only) marriage. … it failed!” said a note attached to the book. “No wonder he hid the book!”

“Doesn’t it come natural?” Callahan asked.

“Rhinos know what to do,” Dennis responded.

Read More: Headlines, UCLA,

Wednesday’s Three For All recap: Orlando Bloom, Justin Bieber allegedly fight; Who said it: Bieber or Johnny Manziel?

07.30.14 at 7:53 pm ET
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On Wednesday’s edition of Three For All on Middays With MFB, Lou Merloni, Christian Fauria and Tim Benz discussed the latest celebrity to be ticked off by musician Justin Bieber and tried to differentiate the Canadian pop singer from Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel. To listen to the segment, go to the MFB audio on demand page.

“It’s pretty embarrassing that we’re both on the same wavelength on that. … As soon as we see some Bieber stuff, we’re all over it,” Fauria said.

Bieber and actor Orlando Bloom allegedly got into a fight early Wednesday morning outside of a restaurant on the Spanish island of Ibiza. After Bieber and Bloom exchanged words., the 37-year-old actor is said to have thrown a punch at Bieber.

“How old is Orlando Bloom anyway, isn’t he like 50? … He’s beating up a kid,” Fauria said.

“I’m in favor of anybody who goes after Justin Bieber,” Merloni responded.

Said Fauria: “If two guys needed to be punched, Justin Bieber would be No. 1. No. 2, slowly bringing up the ranks, would be Johnny Manziel.”

Fauria then brought up an online quiz offered on SI.com, which lists quotes that were said by either Bieber or Manziel, and offered the challenge to Benz and Merloni.

The first quote: “I want my world to be fun, no parents, no nothing. Like no one can stop me. No one can stop me.” It was guessed correctly by both Benz and Merloni, who said it was Bieber.

“Is that a song?” Fauria asked.

“I don’t know, it sounds like lyrics,” Merloni answered.

“I don’t think Johnny, for all of his faults, is still bringing Daddy into the picture,” Benz said. “That was the tip-off for me there.”

The next quote: “I can’t hear you. There’s too much money in my [expletive] hands.” This was a challenge for the duo, as both Merloni and Benz incorrectly guessed that Bieber said it.

“Do you see how these two worlds are merging?” Fauria said. “This guy, Johnny Manziel is being compared to Justin Bieber, who no one can stand right now.”

“What if Johnny Manziel has a good year this year, are you going to be OK?” Merloni asked Fauria.

“I might have a Mr. Furious moment like you’re about to have tomorrow. I might just go crazy,” Fauria said. “The guy is becoming irritating. Now when I see stuff like this, it just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. But he’s not going to have a great year. When he does play, he’s going to make some awesome plays, he’s going to make some plays where you’re like, ‘Whoa, how did he do that, how did he get out of that situation,’ but then he’s going to have so many colossal meltdowns where he’s throwing the ball into the wrong direction, just carelessly just going crazy. That’s more of what you’re going to see with Manziel.”

Read More: Johnny Manziel, Justin Bieber, Orlando Bloom, Three for all

Wednesday’s Headlines recap: Abby Hernandez faces alleged kidnapper in court; New York Times investigates plagiarism charge; Hillary Clinton speaks out against Redskins name

07.30.14 at 8:48 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Wednesday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with John DennisGerry Callahan and guest host Steve Buckley. To hear the interview, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

New Hampshire teen faces alleged kidnapper in court

Abby Hernandez sat in the front row of the courtroom to watch as her alleged kidnapper was arraigned on kidnapping charges on Tuesday.

Police have charged Nathaniel E. Kibby, 34, with one count of felony kidnapping of Hernandez. The 15-year-old disappeared on her way home from school nine months ago.

“You’ve known 15-year-old girls before, would you subject them to that?” Callahan asked.

Said Dennis: “I would not allow either of my daughters to go through that.”

“All I know is her mother is nuts if she thinks it was a good idea to have Abby sit there and stare at him in court,” Callahan said.

New York Times investigates plagiarism charge

The New York Times is reviewing plagiarism accusations against reporter Carol Vogel.

Vogel was charged with using a paragraph from a Wikipedia article for a story about Italian Renaissance painter Piero di Cosimo. The paragraph is nearly identical to the Wikipedia passage on di Cosimo, aside from some minor word changes.

FishbowlNY first discovered the similarities Monday.

“Forget the plagiarism investigation, fire this woman for just being an idiot,” Callahan said. “You actually think you can steal something from Wikipedia and get away with it?”

Another politician calls Redskins name ‘insensitive’

Include Hillary Clinton among those who are against the Washington Redskins nickname.

Speaking in an interview with Fusion TV’s Jorge Ramos, Clinton said she thinks the name is “insensitive” and “there’s no reason for it to continue as the name of a team in our nation’s capital.”

Clinton is just one of numerous top Democrats to speak out against the controversial name, given that 50 U.S. Senators signed a letter earlier this summer pushing for a name change.

“Why are you so against the Redskins’ name change?” Buckley asked Callahan.

Said Callahan: “I’m just against the people who are for it. If I were to sit with an American Indian and he said, ‘That offends me,’ I would respect him, I would support his objections. It’s Peter KingBill Simmons, CBS, those phonies like Harry Reid and Hillary Clinton who stuck their finger in the wind, who used the term for 30 years.”

Red Robin’s ‘Monster’ considered unhealthiest meal

In a survey of more than 200 chain restaurants by the Center for Science in the Public Interest, Red Robin’s “Monster” burger, served with its “bottomless” fries and a “Monster” milkshake was named the single most unhealthiest meal at 3,540 calories.

The Cheesecake factory may not have had the unhealthiest, but it had the most unhealthy meals with three of them exceeding 1,500 calories.

The center says that one would have to do 12 hours of brisk walking to burn off the Monster burger meal.

“After the Pan-Mass Challenge every year I’d get a Big Mac,” Callahan said. “My reward is a Big Mac because I’d have them as a kid and when I was young and stupid I’d eat those all the time. I love them.

“But they just look, taste, smell so unhealthy. But once in a while they’re worth it.”

Buckley was asked what the unhealthiest thing he used to eat was. He said it was an entire bag of Doritos and a quart of milk.

“That is weird,” Dennis said.

Buckley said: “It doesn’t get much more unhealthy than that.”

Tuesday’s Three for All recap: ‘Family Guy’-’Simpsons’ crossover episode announced; Christian Fauria’s girlfriend calls in to criticizes birthday gift

07.29.14 at 2:19 pm ET
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On Tuesday’s edition of Three for All on Middays with MFB, Lou MerloniChristian Fauria and Tim Benz discussed the “Family Guy”-”Simpsons” crossover episode, and Fauria’s girlfriend called in to criticize his birthday gift buying abilities. To hear the segment, go to the MFB audio on demand page.

A preview of a “Family Guy”-”Simpsons” crossover episode was released at Comic-con this past weekend. The episode, titled “The Simpsons Guy” is set to air in a one-hour “Family Guy” season premier Sept. 28.

Benz, a big “Family Guy” fan, was thrilled to hear the news.

“That’s one of my shows,” he said.

Benz also included a link on the MFB home page to a Mike Tyson cartoon.

“It looks pretty funny, actually,” Fauria said.

But stealing the show on Tuesday’s segment was Fauria and his girlfriend, Kim.

Fauria recently took Kim to New York City for dinner and to see the play “Jersey Boys” for her birthday. But it turns out it didn’t count as a gift in her eyes because he was there and both sides enjoyed the trip.

“I kind of felt like she thought I was biting on her birthday present,” Fauria said.

“My question is if you take your girlfriend or wife on a vacation, on a weekend trip for her birthday, should you get full credit for that gift regardless of the fact that you’re going with them, you’re enjoying the play, you’re enjoying the dinner?”

Said Merloni: “It depends. If you were taking her to New York City to see “Jersey Boys,” that’s not really much of a present.”

Benz added: “If I take my wife to Miami in the middle of winter because we want to go to Miami and get away that’s great and all. But if I’m going to Miami because I want to take her to an Iron Maiden concert, I don’t think that’s going to go over so well.”

Kim made a surprise call to the show to clarify the situation.

“You’re getting a really small snapshot of what happened,” she said. “He was very proactive because he was trying to make up for last year’s birthday.”

She said last year Fauria went to the mall the day before her birthday and got her sunglasses, then put candles with the wrong age on cupcakes he made her.

Kim then got back into the lead-up to this year’s birthday. She said Fauria asked her whether she wanted to see Lionel Richie or “Jersey Boys.”

“In all the years Christian and I have been together I challenge him to tell me one time he’s heard me listening to Lionel Richie,” she said.

Said Benz: “So he said, ‘Let me take you to something I want to do, or something I want to do more.’ “

Tuesday’s Headlines recap: Donald Sterling loses attempt to block sale of Clippers; Suns’ P.J. Tucker arrested for ‘super extreme’ DUI; whale watch boat stranded overnight off Boston

07.29.14 at 8:41 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Tuesday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with John Dennis, Gerry Callahan and guest host Steve DeOssie. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

Donald Sterling loses battle to block sale of Clippers

Clippers owner Donald Sterling lost his attempt to block the $2 billion sale of the team to former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Levanas ruled Monday.

Levanas sided with Sterling’s estranged wife, Shelly Sterling, who made the record sale after the NBA banned Donald Sterling for life for making racially offensive comments.

“Just hold hands and thank the Lord that Doc Rivers will not quit because his bags were packed, out the door,” Callahan said.

Sterling, who was not in court for the ruling, learned of Levanas’ decision through one of his lawyers, Bobby Samini. Samini said Sterling told his lawyers they had to keep fighting on other fronts.

“He loves the fight,” Dennis said of Sterling.

Said Callahan: “Isn’t everyone going to be better off when he croaks?”

Suns forward P.J. Tucker arrested for ‘super extreme’ DUI

Suns forward P.J. Tucker was arrested for “super extreme” DUI in May by police in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Police said Tucker’s blood alcohol content registered at .201 on a preliminary breath test in the field May 10. Tucker was taken to jail, where a blood test showed his blood alcohol content to be .222, according to a police report. A driver is considered legally drunk at .08.

“Shouldn’t that kill you?” Dennis asked.

That led to a discussion amongst the guys over what the highest blood alcohol content ever recorded was. The highest they found belonged to Oregon native Terri Comer, whose blood test revealed a BAC of .72.

“So P.J. Tucker is just a piker at .222,” Dennis said.

Said DeOssie: “He’s not dedicated.”

Whale watch boat stranded overnight off Boston

A group of whale watchers were stranded on a boat overnight when the vessel’s propeller became tangled in a heavy line about 15 miles offshore.

The boat was expected to be back Monday at 4:30 p.m., but the boat stopped about 10 minutes into the return trip after apparently hitting something.

After a transfer attempt failed, the 157 passengers and six crew members were stuck on board until the boat was finally on its way back to Boston as of 7 a.m. Tuesday.

“That sounds like the definition of hell,” Callahan said. “They’re stuck floating around, and I’m sure a few people were sea sick.”

Read More: Donald Sterling, P.J. Tucker,
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