Welcome back to “Name that Tweet” — the game show where everybody’s a loser (including the host)! Here’s the deal: An athlete or celebrity posted the following 140-character thought on his/her Twitter account this past week. It’s your job to figure out who produced these Shakespearean efforts.

1. “I broke my arm. And I’m annoyed! Booooooo”

– Albert Pujols or Bar Rafaeli

Pujols plays first base and hits bombs for the Cardinals, most of whom would like to get beyond first base with Rafaeli and her bombs.

Answer: Click here.

2. “Being a father is sometimes my hardest but always my most rewarding job. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.”

– Barack Obama or Antonio Cromartie

After SEAL Team Six shot Osama bin Laden in the face, President Obama reiterated, “When we say we will never forget, we mean what we say.” Meanwhile, Cromartie often forgets things — like the names of his nine children with eight different women.

Answer: Click here.

3. “I respect your crticism but be fair! People enjoyed last night! I’m guessing ur gay? and my masculinity offended you? well f@#$ you!”

– David Tyree or Cee-Lo Green

Before he started warning people of the anarchy that he believes will ensue if gay marriage is legalized in the United States, Tyree became famous for making “The Catch” as a member of the Giants in Super Bowl XLII. After he became famous for his song “Forget You” — which may or may not have been about the anarchy in his own marriage — Green is now hosting “The Voice.” And he certainly isn’t a giant by any stretch of the imagination.

Answer: Click here.

4. “I have lawyers looking at all malicious & threatening tweets. They won’t be mouthy when letters land on there doormat.”

– Ian Poulter or Amanda Bynes

Both Poulter and Bynes have been involved in Twitter photo controversies. The golfer shared a picture of his family eating Cheerios out of the Ryder Cup. The actress showed off a different set of cups, offering her followers some shots of herself in a bra.

Answer: Click here.

5. “Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature? Is it real that GOD requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.”

– Russell Crowe or Tim Tebow

Star of “The Gladiator,” Crowe got a bad-boy reputation after the actor beat a hotel employee with a telephone in 2005. Star of the Gators, Tebow got a badass reputation after the quarterback beat Oklahoma in the 2008 Bowl Championship Series title game. While Crowe has wielded a sword in many movies and Tebow went under the knife for a shoulder injury in 2009, their expertise on circumcision is relatively unknown.

Answer: Click here.

Thanks for playing, folks. If you got four or more wrong, you’re a Twidiot; if you got four or more right, you’re Tweinstein. So long everybody, and, as Truman Burbank said, “In case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!”

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