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Monday’s Headlines recap: Matthew McConaughey commercial draws attention; Barack Obama addresses golf controversy; Joan Rivers has memorable funeral

09.08.14 at 10:43 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Monday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with Kirk Minihane, John Dennis and Gerry Callahan. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

– Oscar-winning actor Matthew McConaughey is in a car commercial that ran during NFL games on Sunday. Minihane speculated about how much the actor is making from the commercial for Lincoln MKC and said it’s a “bad career move” for the “True Detective” star.

Said Callahan: “One time Infinity offered Jack Nicholson $10 million to do a voice over for a car commercial and he turned it down. … I wished they called me for that.”

– President Barack Obama said he understood the criticism leveled at him for taking to the golf course after he made strong comments condemning ISIS militants for beheading American journalist James Foley.

Said Obama during an NBC interview: “I should have anticipated the optics, that’s part of the job. … Part of this job is also the theater of it.”

The trio had a field day with the “optics” comment, and Dennis took exception to the president’s actions, saying Obama should have been more apologetic about the situation.

Said Dennis: “How about this, ‘I was wrong? I should not have done it. I would love to have it back, I apologize, I should not have done it.’ ”

– Joan Rivers, who wanted a start-studded funeral, got exactly that. Radio host Howard Stern performed the eulogy and stars David Letterman, Rosie O’Donnell, Rosie O’Donnell, Hugh Jackman and Kathy Griffin were among those in attendance. The New York City Gay Men’s Chorus sang some Broadway hits.

Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter was honored at Yankee Stadium around the same time as Rivers’ funeral was happening.

Wondered Callahan: “Who had more celebrities at [their] event yesterday, Derek Jeter or Joan Rivers?”

– Martine Rothblatt, the highest-paid female CEO in America, was born a male. Rothblatt, who works for United Therapeutics (she also is the founder and former CEO of Sirius XM Satellite Radio), had a sex change operation 20 years ago, but Rothblatt still is married to the woman she wed when was a man. Minihane speculated what he would do if his wife had an operation to become a man.

Said Minihane: “I still think that I’d be friends with her, I guess. Right? But she’s still the mother, or father, of my kids, you still have to have some kind of relationship.”

Replied Dennis: “Do it for the kids.”

Read More: Barrack Obama, Joan Rivers, martine rothblatt, matthew mcconaughey

Friday’s Three for All recap: Artist plans to use celebrity nude hacked photos in show; undercover police at NFL games wear opposing team jerseys; Joan Rivers requested ‘Hollywood’ funeral

09.05.14 at 1:38 pm ET
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Here are the highlights from Friday’s Three for All on Middays with MFB with Lou Merloni, Christian Fauria and Tim Benz. To hear the segment, go to the MFB audio on demand page.

– A Los Angeles artist who goes by the moniker XVALA wants to use the celebrity nude photos that were hacked as part of a show called “No Delete” that opens next month at a gallery in St. Petersburg, Florida. The show will include seven years of leaked imaged of celebrities.

“I would suggest to [XVALA] to stay away from the McKayla Maroney stuff, though, because that might get [XVALA] in extra trouble,” Benz said of the teenage gymnast.

Asked which photos were worth memorializing, Benz said: “The Kate Upton ones were not. The Jennifer Lawrence [ones], one or two of them were, yes.”

– At Thursday night’s Seahawks-Packers game in Seattle, undercover policemen wore Packers jerseys to see if any Seattle fans were looking for trouble.

Said Merloni: “If they’re just walking around calmly and someone starts with them, that’s fine. But if they’re like harassing me, you know what I mean, screaming and yelling, then you kind of say something back and they say, ‘I’m a cop,’ it’s like, ‘Hold on, dude.’ ”

Merloni also took issue with fans who are thrown out of NFL games having to go online and pay $250 to take a four-hour course about proper behavior that includes a test in order to have a chance to return.

The Pats do have the same policy, a texter was saying,” Merloni said. “That’s unbelievable.”

– Joan Rivers, who died Thursday, wrote in her book “I Hate Everyone ‘€¦ Starting With Me” that she wanted an extravagant funeral.

“I want my funeral to be a huge show biz affair with lights, cameras, action,” she wrote. “I want Craft services, I want paparazzi, and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’€™t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’€™t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘€˜Mr. Lonely.’€™ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.

“And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonce’€™s.”

Said Fauria: “Here’s what I want to know: Are they going to do it? I hope they do it. I hope everybody shows up, and I hope they just go straight by what she wants. That would be the way to go. ‘€¦ I hope they air it live on E!, because I’m watching.”

Read More: Jennifer Lawrence, Joan Rivers, McKayla Maroney, XVALA

Friday’s Headlines recap: Joan Rivers dies; Cosmopolitan conducts naked selfie survey; NBC pays for Matt Lauer’s helicopter trips

09.05.14 at 9:45 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Friday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with Kirk Minihane, John Dennis and Gerry Callahan. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

– A week after suffering cardiac arrest during surgery, comedian Joan Rivers died at the age of 81 on Thursday. Whether she was doing stand-up comedy or appearing on a late night TV show, she provided brutally honest humor.

Said Minihane: “I was always a Joan Rivers fan. I listened to Howard Stern a lot growing up — when you guys were on commercial break. She would be on, and I would enjoy her. I tweeted out yesterday that she was a top-five non-weird guest on Stern.”

Replied Dennis: “I hate to use this term, it’s like a military term. It should be bigger than this. But in a comedic sense, she was brave.”

Callahan didn’t seem to think that Rivers would be successful if she started her comedy act in today’s age.

“What if she were just starting today? She wouldn’t make it out of Giggles [comedy club]. She would not make it on TV, she would not make it on radio.”

Callahan jokingly wondered who would get custody of Rivers’ daughter, Melissa, because her father took his own life many years ago. Rivers, who occasionally filled in for Johnny Carson as host of “The Tonight Show,” in 1986 accepted an offer to host a late night show on Fox, for which her husband, Edgar Rosenberg, was a producer. The show failed, and Rivers’ husband took it very hard.

Said Minihane: “The show fails spectacularly, the husband is an executive producer of the show. He was so upset with the failure of the show that he committed suicide.”

– After this week’s nude photo hacking scandal, Cosmopolitan conducted a survey, for which 99 percent of the respondents were female at an average age of 21. Of the people responding, 89 percent said they had taken at least one naked picture of themselves and only 14 percent regretted doing it.

Minhane wondered if Callahan would send a naked selfie if he was dating a younger girl today.

Callahan: “I couldn’t do it. Any guy’s body is disgusting. Yours, mine.”

– To keep “Today” show host Matt Lauer happy, NBC has agreed to pay for his helicopter trips to and from home in the Hamptons on Long Island. NBC said it allows Lauer to spend more time with his family.

Said Callahan: “If this were someone who was just amazingly talented, if it were Penn [Jillette], from Penn and Teller — but it’s Matt Lauer. If he weren’t there, who would be his backup? Josh Elliott. If this were some other talking head, would it matter?”

Read More: Joan Rivers, Matt Lauer,

Thursday’s Three for All recap: Return of college students brings headaches; Frank Caliendo delivers great impression; Lolo Jones to appear on ‘Dancing With the Stars’

09.04.14 at 2:48 pm ET
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Here are the highlights from Thursday’s Three for All on Middays with MFB with Lou Merloni, Christian Fauria and Tim Benz. To hear the segment, go to the MFB audio on demand page.

– Benz opened the segment by complaining about the crowds he encountered over Labor Day weekend mainly due to the return of the college students.

Not only has the time of his drive into work become substantially longer, his trip to the department store was a nightmare.

“When we got done with our short show [on Monday] and I said, ‘I’ve got some errands to do, I’ve got to go to Target and pick up a few things.’ Dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life. It was like the mall on Black Friday. It was every sorority girl, their dorm mate and their moms.”

Added Benz: “It was a zoo. I’ve never seen anything like this. It literally was Black Friday at the mall. People ramming each other with their carts. You could go in the home interior section. It was chaos.”

– Impressionist Frank Caliendo delivered a memorable performance with his imitation of Morgan Freeman reciting Allen Iverson‘s legendary “We talkin’ ’bout practice” diatribe.

Benz recalled Caliendo seeing read the Dunkin’ Donuts menu as Morgan Freeman.

“Everything better with Morgan Freeman,” Fauria said.

“That’s his go-to impersonation now,” Benz said. “Morgan Freeman, all the time.”

– Olympic track star Lolo Jones was announced as the latest athlete who will compete on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Fauria noted that athletes don’t always make great dancers.

“You would think they would have some sort of rhythm. Like, you’re an athlete, just naturally you’d think that would go hand in hand,” Fauria said. “It doesn’t necessarily go that way.”

Thursday’s Headlines recap: Democratic gubernatorial candidates oppose death penalty for Dzokhar Tsarnaev; hosts unfamiliar with chart-topping summer hit ‘Fancy’

09.04.14 at 8:20 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Thursday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with Kirk Minihane, John Dennis and Gerry Callahan. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

– During Wednesday night’s debate among Massachusetts Democratic gubernatorial candidates, the topic of Boston hosting the Olympics was introduced.

Favorite Martha Coakley said, “I think we should. I think that it gives us an opportunity to invest in infrastructure now that will go beyond the Olympics if we do it right.”

Dennis sighed and said: “The Boston Olympics is the single dumbest idea I have heard in my life.”

Added Callahan: “We need less infrastructure. There are traffic jams everywhere now. The only one making out on this deal is the guy who rents the friggin’ orange barrels. … She’s wrong, we don’t need more infrastructure, and we sure as hell don’t need the Olympics.”

The candidates were asked if they support the death penalty for accused Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzokhar Tsarnaev. All the candidates voiced clear opposition to the death penalty in any case.

“That’s pathetic,” Callahan said. “These three moonbats think Dzokhar deserves to live happily ever after.”

– “Fancy” is the No. 1 song of the summer according to Billboard magazine, but none of the hosts are familiar with the Iggy Azalea tune.

“If they did the top 10 songs in America right now, would you know any of them?” Minihane wondered.

“No,” Callahan responded.

The hosts then transitioned into a discussion of the best groups whose names are only letters and/or numbers.

Among the favorites: U2, R.E.M. and, by default, according to Callahan, the B-52s.

Callahan also wanted to include ELO, but Minihane protested that the actual group name is Electric Light Orchestra. Callahan tried to make a similar argument against the inclusion of INXS.

Read More: Boston Olympics, Dzokhar Tsarnaev, Fancy, Iggy Azalea