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Thursday’s Headlines recap: New teacher shows up drunk on first day of work; Tom Petty has first No. 1 album of his career

08.07.14 at 8:26 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Thursday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with Kirk MinihaneJohn Dennis and guest host Steve Buckley. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

A newly hired teacher in Oklahoma was arrested and charged with public intoxication after showing up Monday for her first day of work at Wagoner High School and stunning co-workers by removing her pants. Police arrested Lorie Hill after she admitted drinking. Police found an empty cup in her car that smelled of vodka.

There were no students in the school, as teachers were preparing for their arrival later in the week.

“It’s her first teaching day of her life,” Minihane said of the 49-year-old, adding: “Psychologically very strange. Gets drunk.”

Said Buckley: “A midlife career change, apparently.”

Added Minihane: “You think normally, “Good for her, she’s switching things up.’ She shows up, she walks in, she takes her pants off.”

– Veteran rocker Tom Petty, who plays Fenway Park later this month, has the No. 1 album on the Billboard 200 for the first time in his career. “Hypnotic Eye” is Petty’s first chart-topper in his 37 years in the business.

“It is one of these late-career albums that’s as good as anything he’s ever done,” Minihane said. “I’m stunned at how good it is. Petty’s not [Bruce] Springsteen, but it’s close. And this is his first ever No. 1 album, which surprised me.”

Added Minihane: “I was thinking about this driving in: I think Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers have more good songs than the Beatles.”

Responded Dennis: “Oh, stop. Idiotic.”

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Wednesday’s Three for All recap: Syracuse named top party school; hot/crazy matrix for finding perfect wife

08.06.14 at 3:50 pm ET
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On Wednesday’s Three For All on Middays with MFB, Lou Merloni, Christian Fauria and Tim Benz discussed Syracuse’s new honor, a new method for finding the perfect wife and taking stock of the supernatural. To listen to the segment, go to the MFB audio on demand page.

– It looks like upstate New York is the place to be for college students, as the Princeton Review named Syracuse as the top party school in the country. Rounding out the top five are Iowa, UC Santa Barbara, West Virginia and Illinois.

Despite the announcement, Benz — a Syracuse alum — was unimpressed.

“Now I’ve got to say this first and foremost, it was a much bigger party school when I was there,” Benz said. “Now I’ve gone back on a couple of occasions, bars are kind of empty on Friday nights, a lot more kids are staying in.”

Said Merloni: “I have a tough time believing that. … My stepdaughter just graduated from Arizona State, I went down there and it’s like 2 o’clock in the afternoon, everyone’s out by the pool, everyone’s drinking, it’s just absolute chaos.”

Fauria was disappointed that his alma mater, Colorado, was not even ranked in the top 20.

“They legalized marijuana out there, I’m not sure what the issue could be,” Fauria said. “They should have made it even better for them to party hard. It’s not like they were hiding it when I was there anyways.”

Dana C. McLendon III claims to have it all figured out when it comes finding the perfect wife. McLendon created a hot/crazy matrix that he uses to plot different zones and rankings of women, creating groups such as the “fun zone,” “danger zone” and “unicorns.”

“I’m going to add to that: Dental assistants, nurses and teachers,” Benz said in regards to the matrix’s “danger zone.”

“Am I missing something here? This sounds like experience,” Merloni said.

“You can fill in the blanks, but they all qualify, how about that?” Benz responded.

“I feel like every girl that he’s talking about in that ‘danger zone’ is on ‘The Bachelor,’ ” Fauria said.

– After watching a story on TV about an alleged haunted house in Pennsylvania, Fauria asked Benz and Merloni if they believe in supernatural beings such as ghosts.

“You ever have a nice little chill that came through your house and you wondered, ‘Oh, maybe that’s Grandma,’ ” Fauria asked.

“I don’t discount it. I think there’s something, but I’ve never felt the cold air coming in,” Merloni said.

“I don’t, but it’s funny what you can make yourself believe if given the right situation. You go in some of these homes and you just sit there and you just go, ‘Hmm, something bad happened here,’ or somebody tells you a story,” Fauria said.

Read More: Syracuse, Three for all,

Wednesday’s Headlines recap: Deval Patrick’s office completes renovations; Buffalo radio stations go silent on Bon Jovi

08.06.14 at 8:32 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Wednesday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with Kirk MinihaneJohn Dennis and guest host Rob Bradford. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

Deval Patrick’s office reopens after $11.3 million renovation

Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick’s office reopened Tuesday after an $11.3 million renovation that included an original glass chandelier, new paint colors, an emergency bunker and facial recognition technology.

“Is security really that big of a concern?” Dennis said.

The three-story office was originally estimated to cost $9 million, but officials said unexpected conditions and maintenance delays led to the added cost.

The office will include six plasma television screens and audio-visual technology.

“Six plasma screen TVs in the bunker room,” Minihane said. “How about two?”

Said Bradford: “Because if something happened we could not go on living without Deval Patrick, right? Society would completely break down.”

Radio stations in Buffalo to stop playing Bon Jovi music

The Buffalo region’s top three radio groups, which own 10 FM music stations, have stopped playing Bon Jovi music in a protest of the belief that the Toronto ownership group Jon Bon Jovi has joined may buy the Bills and move them north.

“Hasn’t every city in America gone dark on Bon Jovi music?” Bradford said.

Said Minihane: “I don’t like them either. But a classic rock station, they’ll play Bon Jovi.”

Couple, married nearly 62 years, dies four hours apart

After nearly 62 years of marriage, a California couple died just four hours apart in July.

Don and Maxine Simpson spent their last moments side by side. He was 90 and she was 87.

“A broken heart,” Dennis said.

Said Minihane: “I’ve said this before, once I get to 80 I’ll sign for that. After 80, I’m OK.”

“You say that now, though,” Bradford said.

Tuesday’s Three for All recap: Tim Benz’s attachment to his phone; sneaking food into movies

08.05.14 at 1:28 pm ET
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In Tuesday’s Three for All, Lou MerloniChristian Fauria and Tim Benz discussed Benz’s broken cell phone, sneaking food into the movies and whether or not to stay after a one-night stand. To hear the segment, go to the MFB audio on demand page.

Benz can now relate to Fauria’s devastating experience when he cracked the face of his phone a couple of weeks ago. Benz got his phone wet and realized just how attached he was to it.

“I felt so detached from the world for about 16 hours, and I hated myself for it,” Benz said.

Said Fauria: “Basically your entire life. Everything is on my phone, and when I did crack my phone, getting a new one was a pain in the butt.”

– Merloni said when he takes his son to the movies, he sneaks a snack — usually a packaged smoothie — into the theater rather than buy any of the food there. He asked the guys if they thought it was OK to do that.

“I have a ski jacket that has like five different pockets, so I have a pack of Goobers here, a pack of Raisinets here, maybe a Snickers bar and some Sour Patch Kids,” Fauria said.

Said Merloni: “You’re buying things they already have there.”

“But I’m still buying popcorn,” Fauria said.

– Fauria also raised a question for the guys to debate. He asked whether or not they would stay overnight with a woman after a one-night stand.

“I’m staying because it’s late and I don’t want to leave,” Benz said.

Said Merloni: “If it’s a road game, I think you wake up early and get the hell out of there. Home is a little uncomfortable.”

“Isn’t it uncomfortable? Isn’t there an awkwardness about the whole situation?” Fauria asked. “You’re finished, you’re hanging out. … You don’t know them. They could wait for you to fall asleep, grab all your stuff, steal all your jewelry, take your money.”

Tuesday’s Headlines recap: Vince Vaughn may join ‘True Detective’; Anna Paquin explains her bisexuality to Larry King

08.05.14 at 8:38 am ET
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Here are the highlights from Tuesday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with Kirk MinihaneJohn Dennis and guest host Greg Dickerson. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

Reports: Vince Vaughn may join ‘True Detective’ Season 2

Vince Vaughnreportedly is in preliminary talks to play an antagonist is Season 2 of HBO crime-drama “True Detective.”

“I’m a little concerned about the bad guy,” Minihane said.

Anna Paquin explains her bisexuality to Larry King

“True Blood” actress Anna Paquin joined Larry King this week and answered questions about her sexuality.

King asked Paquin, who is married, if she was bisexual before her marriage.

Paquin clarified, saying, “Well, I don’t think it’s a past-tense thing. Are you still straight if you are with somebody?’ … If you were to break up with them or if they were to die, it doesn’t prevent your sexuality from existing. It doesn’t really work like that.”

“Larry seems uncomfortable,” Dennis said.

Said Minihane: “Bisexuality, to me, I’ve never really gotten my arm around.”

“Doubles your chances on Saturday night,” Dennis said.

Said Dickerson: “Some people just don’t know.”

CNN reportedly sued after correspondent Arwa Damon drunkenly bit two EMT in Baghdad

CNN reportedly is being sued by two employees of the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad after senior international correspondent Arwa Damon was “seriously intoxicated” and bit them as they provided her medical aid July 19.

EMTs Charles Simons and Tracy Lamar claim Damon, 36, still is being employed by CNN despite a “history of becoming intoxicated and then abusive.”

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